I firmly believe that good sex is about getting your head straight.
Confidence in the bedroom can change everything. Most of the time, when I write about good sex, it’s the ‘people skills’ I love to share – how to connect, how to feel good about yourself, and how to please your partner.
But when it comes to seeing escorts, there are some practicalities that differ from other types of hook-ups. One of the biggest of these is – you guessed it – money. ‘How do I hand over the cash?’ ‘Should I tip? ‘How can I protect my privacy when paying a deposit?’ These questions are all practical, reasonable, and damn important.
Understanding (and getting comfortable with) the financial transaction is key to having a good escort experience. Here are my most commonly-asked questions.
‘Do I have to pay up-front?’
Yeah, you do. This is one of the least-negotiable rules of an escort encounter – payment must be made in full before anything can happen between yourself and your escort. Not that when I say ‘before anything can happen’ I also include any social interaction, even if it’s just having a coffee in public. Our service starts when we start hanging out with you, even if the clothes are still on!
If you’re meeting an escort for dinner or drinks before playtime, slipping them a discreet card or gift bag often works well. If you’re meeting in private, an envelope is considered the classy approach. Don’t be offended if we count it straight away! Clients can and do short-change us – as professionals, it’s important we check it immediately before we get into anything sexy.
‘Should I prepay before the date? Or at the start of the booking?’
Whether you pay some or all the fee before you meet your escort will depend on both yourself and your escort’s requirements. Many escorts take a deposit – a percentage of the booking fee – beforehand, to ensure you’re serious about turning up on the day. Some escorts also accept prepayment of the whole fee, so that you don’t need to bring cash with you when you meet them in person.
Every escort has different terms and conditions for deposits and pre-payments. If you cancel a booking you might get a refund or not, depending on how much notice you give and your reasons for cancellation. To prevent disputes, check your escort’s terms and conditions before you pay a deposit.
Here are a few ways escorts might accept deposits or pre-payments:
Bank transfer – an escort may provide bank details for a transfer. The procedure might be instant, or it might take three or four working days. For this reason, it’s not usually a good idea to try and use bank transfer to pay for last-minute bookings, because we can’t see you until funds have cleared in our accounts.
- Cash deposit at an ATM – this is a great option for clients who wish to remain discreet, as it doesn’t involve having to share your own bank details. Cash can be deposited directly into the escort’s account at their bank ATM, if they have provided the correct details. Bonus: you don’t even have to talk to a bank teller! It’s also instant and is therefore useful for last-minute arrangements.
- BPay – some escorts accept BPay transfers. This takes a while to process – usually four working days, in my experience. It’s only suitable if you’re organising a booking well ahead of time.
- BeemIt – There’s a money transfer service called BeemIt that keeps all your personal information private and allows you to pay someone using only their username. The app is available on most smartphones. If you haven’t checked it out, it’s worth a look.
If you’re paying in person at the start of the booking, here are a few options:
- Cash – cash is the traditional and most reliable option. Note: If it’s a long booking, make sure you have the cash ready well ahead of time. Some guys go to the ATM to get the money out on the day and find that they can’t, because the sum exceeds their daily ATM limit!
- Credit card – some escorts do accept credit card, although it’s rare. NEVER assume an escort accepts cards! Always ask. To be honest, unless they state on their advertisement that credit card payment is available, they probably don’t offer this option.
- Lingerie, expensive cars and jewellery – no, I’m just kidding. Please don’t try to barter for our services with luxury goods (or goods of any sort). Just like you, we need to pay the bills, and rental agents don’t accept lingerie as a form of payment!
‘Should I leave a tip?’
Australia doesn’t have much of a tipping culture – cafes and restaurants might offer the option, but there’s no expectation. This differs from some other countries such as the USA where workers are paid such a low wage that it’s considered mandatory to tip when eating out. When seeing escorts, the decision of whether to tip is totally up to you. It’s not something that happens to me very often, but I’m definitely thrilled when it does.
Tipping can be a great way to show appreciation if you’re thinking of giving a gift, but have trouble deciding. Unlike a pair of shoes or a box of chocolates, you don’t have to worry about your escort’s particular tastes. Cash is never wrong! The important thing is to know that there’s no obligation.
Before or after? I always recommend tipping at the end of the session. Overpaying beforehand could make your escort worry that you’re going to demand extra services or special treatment. Everyone is different, but I feel that a tip should be a ‘thank you’ not a ‘you owe me’ – it’s easier to send the right message if you give an unexpected tip at the end.
As with your payment, put the tip in an envelope and keep it aside until the right moment. Sometimes my clients write a card to go with their ‘thank-you cash’ – I have a collection of cards from my favourite regulars over the years, with all the lovely things they’ve said about our sessions together. It’s a great way to remember them.
Money doesn’t need to be complicated.
Many clients, especially first timers, feel anxious about payment etiquette. The above covers the basics – but remember, it’s perfectly okay to ask your date if you’re not sure. It’s always better to ask beforehand so that things can go smoothly, than to feel awkward because you’re worrying about what to do next. Learning to handle payment before getting sexy might seem tricky, but with practice it can be as natural as any other business transaction.