“I suffer from psoriasis, which has left me very self conscious. It has affected my confidence with relationships. I always, as a result, advise my escort in advance of my condition. Should I worry that my escort will not understand my condition or repulsed by it?”
Sex is such a vulnerable activity. Being intimate with someone can bring up all of our insecurities – if we’re worried about being too old, not attractive enough, too shy, not fit enough…all of that stuff is likely to be in the front of your mind when you start getting close to someone. And seeing an escort is no different.
But what if you’ve got something else going on, that makes your body different? Psoriasis, for example? Psoriasis is actually a pretty common skin condition; it causes itchy, scaly patches, usually on the knees, elbows, midsection and scalp. It’s not contagious, but it’s uncomfortable and sometimes really obvious to others, especially once the clothes are off.
I’ve met a number of clients with psoriasis over the years…and honestly, it’s not that big of a deal to me. It’s the kind of thing – like skin tags, birthmarks, and micro-penises – that a lot of guys worry about when they’re paying for a sexual experience, but that genuinely don’t matter if you’ve chosen a caring, knowledgeable sex worker.
Sometimes, if you’re seeing someone who isn’t familiar with the condition, they might worry that it’s something contagious or a sign of a more serious issue such as an STI. So I’d always recommend that you let them know in advance – which it sounds like you’re doing already, so good on you! This will give them the change to do their research first, if they’re concerned.
When you do notify them, you don’t need to feel ashamed or apologetic. For example: “By the way, I have psoriasis – it’s a non-contagious skin condition, but it’s pretty visible so thought I’d let you know in advance just so you’re not surprised.” By being matter-of-fact, you’re showing that it’s not a big deal (which it’s not) and they they don’t have anything to worry about.
Honestly, the whole point of seeing a sex worker is that we provide a service that’s less judgemental than your average civvie date. A good escort won’t shame you for having body differences; most of us have seen so many people naked! We understand that people come in different varieties and that nobody’s body is perfect. As long as you’ve made an effort to be clean and neat, dress nicely, and treat us respectfully, we’re going to consider you a good client.